09 Dec How To Get A Victoria’s Secret Body
This much I’ll admit: I love Victoria’s Secret lingerie.
And back in the day, I was an employee at the sexy retail chain, fully immersed in the world of all things bras, crotchless panties, fishnet stockings, and corny pick-up lines from male shoppers. You look like my girlfriend’s body type…can you try on this corset and show me if it fits? or ‘Your cleavage looks nice, what size are you because you look like my wife’s size?’ I wish I was making this up.
If you dove head first into this article with the hopes of receiving a fat loss program, you’re in the wrong place. And I hope I didn’t spoil the beans that you discontinue reading this post as I believe there are valuable takeaways here. Sure, I could provide the “quick fix” with a crash diet, an immense caloric deficit, a high reps-low weight “toning” routine, or a total body dehydration to #prunestatus. Don’t get me wrong, all of these would produce results, BUT. As a fitness professional, who boasts healthy, balanced living, it would be irresponsible for me to encourage such behavior.
So you made it this far into the article, which means you must be curious as to how to get a Victoria’s Secret body.
You’re eager to see what witty shit I spew out next.
Either way, I’ll tell you how. So How do you get a Victoria’s Secret body?
Answer: Put lingerie and wings on your body.
LOL. Had I typed this same question into Google, I would’ve gotten a multitude of articles that would laud stringent diets, excessive cardio, and the most recent discovery: the Ballet Beautiful program. Of course, I’d rather be stabbed in the pelvic bone by a Samurai sword than attempt to justify ballet’s effect on physique building. (Here is the link if you want a good laugh).
While I do laud women who walk down a runway covering up their private parts, the spectacle of the #VSFashionShow becomes a problem when young girls harbor negative thoughts about their bodies when looking up to the angels on TV.
Somewhere out there, there’s a girl pulling her inner thighs apart, praying for a thigh gap one day. Somewhere out there, there’s a woman resenting herself because she has cellulite. Somewhere out there, there’s a girl doing jumping jacks during the show’s commercial breaks. Somewhere out there, there’s a girl pinching her muffin top. And as result, now suffers from a severe eating disorder.
What’s even more heartbreaking is girls across the country scroll through the VS models’ Instagram accounts seeking workout and diet advice, utilizing the hashtag “#bodygoals.” And I get it. It’s easy to confuse “celebrity” with “legitimacy.” BUT. When this induces girls broadcasting on social media statuses “The VS Fashion Show: time to hit the gym hard tomorrow” or “time to eat only spinach for the next month,” that’s that shit I don’t like.
YUCK. Nobody wants that.
So now I digress.
Ladies: there are alternatives to “a Victoria’s Secret Body” that aren’t nearly as soul sucking. In fact, these will ignite motivation and breathe life into the core of your being.
What We Can Do:
1) Lift heavy things.
I urge you to unfollow #trainlikeanangel. Sure, Adriana Lima is the trailblazer of the group as an avid boxer, but for the rest, it’s pilates, pilates, pilates, and obscure “muscle lengthening” techniques that even a surgeon can’t perform. Oh, and that Ballet Beautiful program that requires four hours a day of exercise. HAHAHAHA. FOUR HOURS? I could do five loads of laundry, get groceries across the Bay Bridge, and watch a Lord of the Rings movie in that length of time. Put simply, there are more efficient ways to build a physique: doing dead lifts, squats, lunges, push-ups, pull-ups, and tabata work. The more lean muscle we have, the more we are burning at rest. Tony Gentilcore just posted a great article on powerlifting for women here. And as for cardio, interval work with light to moderate loads will do the job. Earth shattering, right?? Here’s a sample program:
1A) Goblet Squat
2A) Single Leg Dead Lift
3A) Reverse Lunge
3B) Push Press
3C) RKC Plank Hold
Finisher: 10 Hill Sprints
2) Eat whole foods but sprinkle in treats daily.
Diets don’t have to be full of veggies, juices, or nuts that we eat ourselves into misery. Nor do they have to follow angel Adriana Lima’s 7-day juice cleanse. Yes, eating nutrient dense foods makes you feel AWESOME, and every cell of your being soaks in the energy. However. You can still indulge in treats daily to deter an all-out binge in one sitting on the weekend. Sohee Lee, my go-to gal for nutrition, ate a big ass snickers bar every day leading up to her bikini show, while maintaining a lean physique. She wrote about her positive experience with flexible dieting here. Above all, you can still splurge once in a while. It’s okay to have Donuts every Friday at the office. It’s okay to drink a whole bottle of wine (<—it’s women’s science). It’s okay to go to happy hour with your friends. Because most of the time, loaded nachos with the gals is totally worth it. And I promise, your physique won’t explode into the giant Marshmallow Man after a few social events with your squad.
3) Walk like an angel. Everywhere.
Recently, I’ve found that walking with my head up, shoulders back, and chest proud has its way of making me feel powerful. So what hell? Practice this every day – at the grocery store, at work rounding the cubicles, upon entrance at the coffee shop, even in your apartment alone. It’s time to act the part. Even better, this shit is CONTAGIOUS. By walking with your head up, you’re sending a tremendously positive message to other women to hone in on their confidence and feel empowered.
4) Don’t pay attention to mainstream media.
So you want an easy way to fall under the comparison trap? Get your hands on as many magazines as you can, watch The Real Housewives of Orange County, and check every VS models’ Instagram account upon waking up. Instead, let’s keep our eyes on our own paper, shall we? Because then, we save ourselves from toxic societal constructs that produce grandiose perceptions about reality. Escaping the fallacy is key because we can breathe. We can practice self development. We can find solace in who we are, giving ourselves our own personal definition of “Victoria’s Secret Angel.”
5) Accept that you still won’t look EXACTLY like an angel.
Now this is when I get all tough love-y on you guys. As women, no matter how hard we fight, restrict, or workout, we still may not look runway ready. And that’s totally fine. Above all, your health and inner peace are critical. If you push yourself to the limit to achieve the catwalk-esque physique, your sanity will wither away. Exercise and nutrition should align with your energy levels. Be kind to your body and nurture it in a way that elevates your zest for life.
You still with me now? Good.
The bottom line: We are all angels. Models. Fierce beings. We are worthy of self-love. We deserve to walk with pride, making the Earth rumble with our vibrance. Life is your spectacle. Your own fashion show. So start playing the part of a bombshell.
One more thing: do I have a Victoria’s Secret body? YES. At 147 pounds (looking like Jabba the Hutt compared to Adriana Lima), YET packed with muscle, a butt that could knock down the Great Wall of China, and a soul with heaps of self love, I can confidently say I am an angel in my own mind. I’m whoever I want to be. And you are too. 😉