At age 26, I no longer want to be referred to as a “girl.”
And while we’re on the topic of labels, I don’t wish to be called babe, honey, sweet cheeks, or sweetheart either. And god forbid…BAE.
Like what the actual fuck.
As a 26-year-old, I’ve already gone through my fair share of littlest pet shops, barbie dolls, petty gossip, boy drama (does this still exist???), shitty boyfriends, and pet names.
I’m over it.
Now that I’m fully immersed in womanhood, I have an immense sense of direction, self acceptance, and purpose. And I finally, FINALLY have tits and ass. Just sayin’.
Okay. So, womanhood.
Today I want to discuss concrete ways to separate yourself from the little girls – you know, the ones that text their boyfriends every hour WHERE ARE YOU, comb through other girls’ Facebook pages and library of photos (#stalkerrrrrrrrrrr), stuff their bras with toilet paper, and operate under jealousy and comparison.
Admittedly, this all wants to make me put myself in a fucking canon and shoot into outer space. Alas, instead, I’ll drop knowledge on how we can avoid all of this fluff.
And I promise this has to do with fitness. I believe that our sense of self as grown ass women is so incredibly powerful when it comes to getting our bodies healthy and strong.
Because once you clarify your mind – rid yourself of toxic sludge and self-limiting beliefs – your physique will transform. You’ll morph into a total mind and body powerhouse and downright force to be reckoned with.
So, let’s get started. 8 Ways To Become A Grown Ass Woman:
1.) Perform empowering exercise
I wouldn’t have such an immense zest for life if I didn’t move in a way that made me feel effing amazing. For me, playing soccer, doing pull ups, or running hill sprints all make me want to grab life by the balls and take names. For you, this could be yoga, biking, swimming, or running a marathon.
Personally, lifting weights 3x a week and playing soccer twice a week provides me with tremendous physical and mental balance. Both also increase my confidence. I’m also a huge fan of snowboarding and feel so absorbed in the moment as I cruise down the mountain. In fact, exercise should leave you tuned into the present moment.
I encourage you to find what works best for you. So don’t just do Tracy Anderson’s booty blast or the Tone It Up girls’ love your body series because they’re the fad and pink dumbbells match your Lulu Lemon pants. Play around with various types of exercise and see what breathes life into you. More importantly, see what makes you want to take on the effing world.
2.) Share your talents.
Expressing yourself through creativity is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. Whether this is starting a blog, business, or Etsy shop, we often worry “what will they think” or “omg, is this too show-y of me?”
So here’s a gentle reminder: these thoughts couldn’t be more far from the truth.
Lean into your talents and blast that shit for everyone to see. Especially in today’s day and age, it’s FREE to get your name out there. So….are you good at painting? Are you a prolific writer? Are you a specialist on killer whales? Are you a badass sex toy party hostess? Whatever it may be, embrace the gifts you possess. And remember: you’re doing others a service by sharing your talents. How will YOU contribute?
3.) Stop comparing yourself to others
I’ve written about this topic over. And over. And over. Again. It’s juicy and it certainly never gets old. Plus, I’m tired of hearing middle aged women comparing the types of kitchen counters they have, or the cars their husbands drive, even the size of their husbands’ penises. Okay, penis size MATTERS. But do you really think comparing your husband to your friend’s husband will magically make him size up to a Magnum condom? Methinks not. It’s a waste of time.
More importantly, if anything is going to steal your joy, it’s comparison. I’ve found that driving in your own lane makes you more productive and action oriented. You’re free from distractions and have the opportunity to #doyou. Also. Instead of trying to be someone else, you are able to become the best version of you. So do that.
4.) Fall in love with the journey.
I recently had a major “Aha” moment about the concept of the journey. No matter what goals we set or plans we make, detours are inevitable. There’s no where to go, no where to end, and no where to be. As Neale Donald Walsch says, “Enlightenment is understanding that there is nowhere to go and nobody you have to be, except who you’re being right now.”
I can certainly speak to this in my career. When I coach, train, or blog, I’m soaked into the moment and just let the rest take care of itself. Nothing is in my control except for how much I’m crushing this task right now. 😉
So lean into life’s beautiful, oscillating nature. The process is the pleasure which will lead you to new adventures, lessons learned, and opportunities – all things that shape your character and provide excitement. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. Excitement is good.
5.) Blow someone’s mind once a day.
One of my best friends served as the inspiration for this one. As a waiter at a seafood restaurant, he went above and beyond while serving a married couple and their kids. The dad asked if the restaurant had chocolate milk, fully knowing that it’s a seafood joint and this was tantamount to asking a McDonald’s if they had wheatgrass vegan smoothies.
My friend kindly told them no, but then ran to the kitchen and found supplies to whip up chocolate milk for his children. What happened? The dad was blown away and super appreciative.
It’s little actions like these that make someone’s day. And the Buddha says the best happiness comes from giving. 🙂
This one is my favorite. Creating content is my jam. It’s liberating, rewarding, and energizing. Creativity is what fuels my fire and gets my ass up at 5:00AM every day. And truthfully, my happiest and most fulfilled friends create shit, whether that’s jewelry, artwork, music, poems, or recipes. Creativity is magical as fuck.
Another bonus: creation helps to evade comparison. Why? Well, if you’re too busy brainstorming ideas, interviewing people, writing articles, making exercise videos, or posting content, you simply won’t have time to allow others to phase you. Not even Donald Trump.
So get busy. Create. Contribute. Do something. ANYTHING.
7.) Spend less energy on looks.
Very rarely do I get dressed up. Even when I’m not coaching, I still default to the soccer girl look – an oily face, sweatpants, ripped shirt, and no bra. I know, I know, the “no bra” is questionable at best, but it works for me.
I’ve found that showing up *as is* actually makes me feel MORE confident. This way, I’m in alignment with my authenticity, and I’m not trying to be someone else or aim for an ideal look.
A wise friend once told me, “Simplicity is the highest form of sophistication.”
8.) Surround yourself with other grown ass women.
Okay, let’s get juicy for a hot second. It is VERY HARD to find other grown ass women who crush all of the above pointers.
They’re certainly out there. This could mean you ditch your crew after many, many years of friendship, especially if you find your energy waning around them. Some things to ask yourself: are my friends passive aggressive, or straightforward with me? Are my friends resonating with my life purpose? Are my friends focused on my flaws, or on my strengths? Are my friends constantly trying to one-up me, or are they encouraging me?
Because, look. You deserve to be surrounded by other goddesses who permeate positive vibes into your soul. Sometimes it’s okay to say “FUCK THIS SHIT” and move on. Upward and onward.
Grown Ass Women and Fitness
There is a huge interplay between mindset and fitness. A common them from the pointers above is energy. Put simply, are your thoughts and actions energy generating OR energy depleting? If you answered the latter, then working toward mastering these pointers will be a step in the right direction to improving your physical health.
Above all, mental health begets physical health. Emotional energy serves as the primary ingredient to crushing workouts, maintaining a training regimen, and building strength.
You also will have more confidence to step into the gym and #doyou. To hell with everyone else.
So which ones could you work on a bit more? Which ones are new? Get back to me and let me know. I would love your feedback. <3