There’s two types of people in this world: those who justify their behavior with their astrological sign, and those who won’t.
With that said, I’ll get right to it: I’m a Scorpio, and I’m one of those people who blames everything I say and do on my astrological sign.
So I say ‘fuck’ on social media?
I blame it on the stars.
So I crush people’s souls with my blue yes?
I blame it on the stars.
So I call people out on my blogs?
I’m just a
How is that for a high level of self awareness? So self aware, I leave it to the Universe to justify my actions.
Mind fucks aside, why did I open this piece with how awesome Scorpios are? Well, for one, it’s Scorpio season. And two, it’s time to come out of hibernation and write with zest. Oh, and did I mention it’s Scorpio season?
Admittedly, I’ve been holding back in my recent blogs, so I’m due for a feisty piece that makes you rethink your life. A piece that brings out more self awareness. A piece that lights a fire under your ass. A piece that makes you question what you post on social media.
In the strength and conditioning industry, a topic I’ve been fired up about recently is debating on social media.
What’s funny to observe is, those who debate might be looking for a couple things:
1. To feel important.
2. To change the other.
3. Or, to genuinely have an adult conversation.
However, #3 is few and far between. To some extent, making your disagreement known to someone on social media comes with an air of arrogance, insecurity, or entitlement. And while it may not be your intent, that’s how it comes off.
While I’m all for freedom of speech and being able to express your opinion, is it worth it to battle it out with a stranger or colleague behind your keyboard? Does it make you feel like more of a man? Do you win a gold star? Do you win the lottery? Do you solve your insecurity?
I don’t fucking think so.
And I know what you’re thinking, ‘well, Erica, what if I’m genuine in my intent and truly want to challenge people?’
You’re lying to yourself. I think disagreeing with fervor breeds a level of insecurity. Let me ask you this: if you were super confident and sure of your purpose, would you really have the time to say something to someone, let alone, care to disagree? Answer that truthfully and it’s a hard ‘no.’
This reminds me, when I was in the midst of off-season training for my athletes, there was so much shit I could’ve attacked on social media, spitting out my disagreements left and right. However, I was too busy training people, hyped up about my purpose, and getting shit done it wasn’t worth it.
Alas, humans are funny, no doubt. They want to have a say. They want to feel important. They want to have an identity. They want to bring ‘sureity’ to their objective reality so they feel better about themselves. They want to add excitement to their boring lives.
For me, it’s not worth it.
Unless someone is saying, “deadlifts make your biceps huge” or “soccer players should do Tone It Up workouts in the off-season” then I may chime in with my disagreements….but probably not. LOLOLOL.
Truthfully, if I see something I disagree with, I do the following:
1. Say, “hmmm.”
2. Keep scrolling.
3. Move on with my life.
4. Coach the fuck out of athletes.
5. Grab a beer with a friend.
That’s about it.
Ugh, but, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Erica, why don’t you just grow a pair and debate with people!!!!’
Honestly, I see it as a lose-lose.
For one, if you disagree with someone, you express your opinion, they hear it, and they likely don’t change.
To that end, we can’t change people. I’ve been challenged many times, and have been open to others’ opinions, but look, I stay stuck in my ways. And most of us do. Which is fine.
However, one time when a colleague called me out, we had a phone conversation on the matter and we both evolved. Totally healthy, but certainly, a rare scenario that took two humans with a consciousness as elevated as an alien from Mars.
So this bears repeating: changing people is a task as hard as climbing Mount Everest or getting laid by Pamela Anderson.
So here’s my advice: next time you disagree with a Tweet or Facebook status, go jerk off, go buy a scratch off lottery ticket, go scratch your nuts, or go coach athletes. Put simply, MOVE ON. Being a debate zealot accomplishes nothing 99% of the time. Move on and make better use of your precious time on this planet.
In fact, if you strongly disagree, go write a blog and create your *own* content if you’re that fired up. If anything, a disagreement is a trigger for you to have new creative material and to find your own “tribe.”
Now none of this is to say, don’t debate or disagree. I do believe these can be healthy and provide new perspectives, and move people into introspection. But only in rare instances.
However, there’s one caveat: spare us the long Twitter battles, Facebook comments, and get on the fucking phone and talk like an adult.
This does several things:
1. You can hear the person’s tone better.
2. You can get to know them on a personal level.
3. You can convey your message with more clarity.
4. It shows you actually care about what they have to say.
I always say, “it’s easy to hide behind your keyboard and debate people while being naked in your home, but it’s much harder to get on the phone with someone and actually feel naked.”
So get on the phone.
And get vulnerable.
Because more often than not, vulnerability leads to more growth.
I promise getting on the phone is a much more magical experience than typing on your keyboard with anger and not getting anything out of it.
…except more anger.