27 Mar Are Other People Your Responsibility?
Every now and then, I go off the beaten path and write about topics other than soccer, fitness, and exercise physiology.
I’ve written on abusive relationships, spirituality, happiness, business, writing, freelancing, zombies, and Megan Fox.
These are the days when I’m feeling edgy and elated to ruffle some feathers. And these are the days when I enjoy branching out so I can start new conversations. And these are the days I embrace connecting with a different audience besides bald, male strength coaches. ;-O
So…today’s article is all about taking responsibility for others.
I guess, to some extent, this can relate to strength and conditioning and soccer coaching. So didn’t mean to rule out the bald dudes out there.
With that said, is it our job to take responsibility for other people’s behaviors? Is it our job to control how they show up in the world?
This morning, Facebook reminded me of this quote from Nealed Donald Walsch which I posted a year ago on my newsfeed:
Oddly enough, I swear by this more than ever before. Whether this is in my relationships, business endeavors, and blogging pursuits, I’ve moved into acceptance of allowing others to just be.
Sure, we’re humans and we like control because it makes us feel safe, secure, and in our power.
But the more we try to write another’s story, the more we veer from our own. It’s funny because the best way to ruin our own productivity, creativity, and badass-ery is to try to change others.
Perhaps you dated someone who was always on their phone and wasn’t giving you enough attention.
A couple things to think about: did you communicate with them that you needed more attention? And even if you did, were they willing to change this behavior? If not, it doesn’t make them wrong, it just means they’re not resonating with your values. So you either accept this part of them, or move on and find someone who is willing to give you the attention you need. No biggie.
Another example from the coaching world could be working with an athlete who lacks effort and motivation. And maybe you’ve read Conscious Coaching cover-to-cover, executed every motivation tactic out there, met the athlete with compassion, and they still won’t budge. Is it *really* your job to change them?
After a while, no. They’re walking their own path – maybe they’re not serious about the sport, maybe they’re on their way out, maybe they’ve lost passion, which is totally OK. It’s normal for humans to behave in the weird ways they do.
I run into this a lot in the online space as a blogger. There are tonsssssss of people out there who love my my content, but then there are a tonnnnnn who don’t vibe with me. Maybe they don’t like the way I write, my sailor mouth, or my whacky pop culture references to Lord of the Rings. Alas, I can’t change how they feel about me.
Even if I tried, it would be too daunting of a task and deter me from creating content and living in my passion. So. All I can do is stay true to myself and how I know to be in the world. It’s liberating as hell.
To conclude, not everyone will resonate with you. And after open communication fails, the best is to just keep working on your own story because that’s the only one you can control.