“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.” – Eckart Tolle
I used to think ‘the present moment’ was a load of crap. What the fuck do these mindfulness people even mean? Will motivational quotes and spiritual Instagram accounts and self help books actually work, or just make me feel better for 10 seconds?
For the longest time, I was a spiritual mess. I’d wonder why I was excelling at my coaching career and being super badass and action oriented, but why the fuck am I failing at dating and only attracting men who are as mental as Hannibal? And other times, I’d wonder why I’d win some big clients and write epic blog posts and be featured in Women’s Health Magazine, but then, fuck I just got a speeding ticket, an angry soccer parent called me the devil, and I made their kid cry because they didn’t get playing time.
For fuck’s sake. Then, I receive my Master’s degree, get my national coaching license, I finally meet a decent guy and we’re about to get it on, but wait, why is my time of month early?! WTF. And yeah. He turned out bat shit crazy too.
Perhaps a shit storm of events is also true for you. Maybe you’re financially stable with a disposable income that can buy you 5 yachts, 10 hookers, and 20 medications to prevent herpes. Yet you have high blood pressure and anxiety attacks so bad that your doctor says a heart attack is on the horizon.
Or maybe you live a lavish life and Sunday brunch with your basic white girl friends every weekend, but your friendships are faker than a Playboy Centerfold’s tits.
Or maybe you’re madly in love in a super authentic relationship with the person of your dreams. But you struggle to start a savings account and pay rent.
Plain and simple, this is HEAVY STUFF.
As challenging as this is to recognize, life is messed up. Whenever something enthralling happens, something catastrophic follows. Is this a test of strength? Who the hell is up there tossing these battles at us? God? The Universe? The Cosmos? Bruce Almighty?!
Now I’m not asking you to pick a religion. Nor am I asking you to be all rainbows, butterflies, and bro hugs. And attending Sunday church and drinking grape juice isn’t going to alleviate your rickety-ass mental health either. Oops, I said it.
Instead, how about we look to sustainable and much more fulfilling ways to a lukewarm living? Yeah, thought so.
So how do you be badass and crush life? Let’s dive right in:
1.) Move happily and powerfully.
Maybe yoga makes you happy. Maybe sex 20 times a week makes you happy. Maybe lifting heavy weights makes you happy (I’ve written about the benefits of strength training here). Maybe Tracey Anderson’s bimbo barbie booty blast makes you happy.
Whatever movement it is, yeah. DO MORE OF THAT. Exercise has its way of boosting mood, relieving stress, and providing us with life. Even better, movement that makes you happy makes you feel empowered and confident to grab life by the balls (soccer pun intended). ;-0
2.) Make gratitude your best friend.
“The most grateful people are the happiest.” – Ralph Smart
In lieu of stress, frustration, and anger, I understand why it’s hard to look on the bright side of things. But think about it: if you’re showing up pouty and bitchy, that’s the type of energy and people you’ll attract. Entering in a place of gratitude shifts your mindset from a place of lack to a place of abundance. More abundance = stronger faith in the world.
So begin to practice gratitude daily. Are you stressed at work? Be thankful you’re not bored and business is thriving. Are you a lonely hag? Be thankful you’re single and can focus on your dreams. Did you not get the promotion you deserved? Be thankful because this may lead you to better adventures and opportunities.
3.) Make fear your bitch.
It’s time to stop playing the part of the scaredy-cat and man the hell up. With a little courage, even the biggest dreams will manifest. But what will they think? What if they see me fail? What if my business isn’t successful?
These are normal limiting beliefs most people experience. I get it. However, sometimes you have to say, “Fuck it. I’m going for it.” Facing fear head-on is not a talent or personality trait. Rather, it’s an active decision to set yourself free and make things happen.
Let’s say you want to start a blog, write a book, or follow your passion, or start that crazy business idea. Yes, taking the leap is scary, but how would you feel if you succumbed to fear and didn’t go for it? Last I looked, wallowing in fear and suffering didn’t help anyone. Making fear your bitch is oh so fulfilling and puts you in a place of power and purpose.
4.) Chill the fuck out.
Give yourself a break, why don’t you? “It can wait” is a phrase my mom has been repeating to me lately, as she sees me answer emails and take client phone calls at the dinner table.
She’s right. It CAN wait. Okay, I know we live in a society that moves a million miles a minute and frowns upon people hibernating and cutting themselves off from humans, but sometimes, this is so fucking needed. In fact, the more you disconnect, the more you’ll connect to your calmer self.
You can’t expect to be a loving parent, badass business owner, or the world’s best Tinder date, if you overwhelm yourself. And you can’t expect to be immune to cancer, heart attacks, and bitchiness either.
Always make yourself #1. Because what is the point of life if you’re not relaxing and enjoying yourself?
5.) Take radical action.
If you’re afraid to take the initial step – whether that’s starting a cupcake business, a new iPhone app, or blog on how to tame killer dolphins – you’re gonna have to suck it up.
It’s time to roll up your sleeves and dive into the dirty stuff. Yes, thinking about your plan is an excellent start. But thinking can be done in your bed drinking whiskey and jerking off to clown porn. Conversely, DOING is springing out of bed, beginning small projects, creating content, and seeing that shit crystallize right before you eyes. It’s magic. ;-0
Now I’m not asking you to carry a 1,000 pound elephant or invent the next birth control that doesn’t make women raging bitches. I’m asking you to quit lugging around self limiting thoughts and create the life you want – a life full of purpose, wonder, and confidence.